


The Not-Diary of Eren Jaeger

by DoomedTemperament



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diary/Journal, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5126408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedTemperament/pseuds/DoomedTemperament
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa buys Eren a journal to help keep his temper in check as he goes about his trainee days.</p><p>These are his writings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry #1 (Day One)

**Author's Note:**

> So... I'm not sure if I'll be able to update this consistently, or if I'll even update it at all (because I've trashed fics before, but let's not think about that now.)
> 
> Each entry will have an image, as well as a transcript.
> 
> Let's see how this goes.

  
  


**Transcript:**  
DAY ONE  
So. Mikasa decided it would be a good idea for me to keep a journal while I'm in training. She mentioned something about it helping me to keep my temper in check, but I don't think that's going to be very useful. Besides, isn't this too close to a diary? And diaries are for girl soldiers, right? Hell, I feel stupid just for writing in this thing. But Mikasa bought it for me with the money she earned before we joined the military, and I don't want to waste a perfectly good journal because I'm too stubborn. I'm not sure what else to write for today. I hope nobody finds this. Maybe I'll just draw something on the rest of the page.  
_(Drawn image of the Wings of Freedom with an arrow pointing to it)_  
On second thought, I can't draw at all.


	2. Entry #2 (Day Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I shouldn't be surprised that Jean started to make fun of me. Did I mention Jean yet?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter two!  
> I should probably state that there will be time skips throughout the story, if I continue to work on it.

**Transcript:**  
DAY TWO  
Training hasn't gone nearly as well as I hoped it would. My head still hurts from when I crashed onto the ground as I practiced balancing. I shouldn't be surprised that Jean started to make fun of me. Did I mention Jean yet? I think he could count as my first real enemy. He's worse than anyone who ever picked on Armin. He's pompous- we almost got into an argument last night. He thinks I'm an idiot for wanting to kill titans. I believe he's just a coward... But it's not like I can get by much further if I can't even control myself enough to handle the maneuver gear in the future. As much as I hate to say it, I'm going to need to ask someone for help. I guess this journal is helping a bit... I don't feel as bad as I would without it. I'll have to thank Mikasa later.  
_(Drawn image of a sword)_


	3. Entry #3 (Day Seven)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's almost bittersweet, how I can feel so happy just because I lost so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget that this is a slow-build fic, and will include a bit of filler.

**Transcript:**  
DAY SEVEN  
Today we had our first exercise. I managed to balance on the 3DMG simulator; Apparently the equipment was faulty. Now I can prove my worth. We got to use the maneuver gear-and it was great. I could feel the adrenaline as I soared past the trees, and I swear I must have felt more alive than I ever did when I was in Shiganshina. It's almost bittersweet, how I can feel so happy just because I lost so much. And I know that Mikasa and Armin are only here for my sake. I can at least take comfort in the fact that, when this is all over, I can finally see outside the walls. Maybe I'll even get to see the ocean- who knows? The possibilities are endless. I feel more comfortable when I write in this journal... maybe it's because I can have an outlet to spill my secrets without getting coddled by Mikasa and Armin. I know they mean well, but with this, I can say whatever I want. I still can't draw, though. 


	4. Entry #4 (Day Fifteen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One thing is for sure: Jean Kirschtein and I will never be friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, Eren will mellow out as the fic continues.

**Transcript:**  
DAY FIFTEEN  
Jean is a complete fucker. We got into an actual fight today because he couldn't shut up about how he "doesn't get how Mikasa can stand to hang around a brat like me." What a stuck-up jerk. I had to help clean out the stables with him today because someone called Shadis over. At least he stopped making dumb comments about me. It might have been because he would have been castrated for stepping out of line during a punishment, but it was a relief all the same. My back is sore, and I probably smell awful, but I just needed to vent before I took my shower. One thing is for sure: Jean Kirschtein and I will never be friends. Or if we ever are, I'll give Sasha my dinner every day for a week.  
 _(Poorly-drawn sketch of a horse in uniform)_  
Come to think of it, he looks sort of like a horse, too. 


	5. Entry #5 (Day Twenty-Eight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I feel like I'm slowly getting used to the strict routine that goes on over here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm going somewhere with this. There will be plot.

**Transcript:**  
DAY TWENTY-EIGHT  
I feel like I'm slowly getting used to the strict routine that goes on over here. Armin is managing to make more friends than I have, and Mikasa is popular too. I can't say I'm lonely, though. There are a few good people here, like Bertholdt and Reiner. They're almost always hanging around each other, though. Marco is also a nice guy, but he's with Jean way too often. Is it really so wrong for me to dislike the guy? I know we're soldiers, and we have to get along, but there's just something about him that makes me feel really guarded. I guess it can't be helped, though. I don't want to get punished anymore, especially not because of him. I should probably stop writing about him now, just the thought of it is making me irritated. I need to think of a better hiding place for this journal than just below the creaky floorboard. It's bound to be found eventually. Maybe I can ask one of the girls to hold onto it for me... as long as I don't get any odd looks for it. Krista would be my best bet. 


	6. Entry #6 (Day Thirty-Nine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who knows how long it will be until anyone else can feel the sort of connection that they have in whatever short, hellish lives we live?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?

**Transcript:**  
DAY THIRTY-NINE  
I managed to convince Krista to keep my journal safe in the girls' barracks for a little while. But then I realized I couldn't get it back unless I asked her for it, and I haven't had much time. She's almost always hanging around Ymir. It's kind of cute, but I don't understand how it would be possible for romance to bloom when we're so busy training. Maybe when it's all over, and we graduate, they can find some time to themselves. I'm glad that they're happy- who knows how long it will be until anyone else can feel the sort of connection that they have in whatever short, hellish lives we live?  
 _(Pressed flower stuck to the page with an arrow pointing to it)_  
Armin and I found a few flowers when we were out in the field today, too. I think he said they were called irises. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at doomedtemperament.tumblr.com , or drop me a line in the comments.


End file.
